1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
spend time in LA, stand at the front of a rock concert (hello okgo!!!!), drive a car in new york city, pay rent
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
if i had any i don't remember them, but i plan to make ones for 2010
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
cousins! we're not especially close, but they (and their babies!) are family :)
4. Did anyone close to you die?
yes
5. What countries did you visit?
egypt, italy, and all corners of the USA (florida, massachusetts, indiana, minnesota, nevada, utah, arizona, california, new york, and new jersey)
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
a budget
7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
no dates stick out, but there are several days that i will remember forever
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
living by the advice i heard from jenny: "you'll have the money later but you won't have the time."
9. What was your biggest failure?
not keeping up with new friends after moving away, not keeping up with old friends even when they make an effort to stay in touch
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
nothing beyond the normal scrapes and bruises. 18 months of work with zero sick days!
11. What was the best thing you bought?
S+G concert tickets for sure :) :) :) :) second place: magic lamp from egyptian market
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
amy for working hard to be valedictorian, getting into awesome colleges, being brave going so far away all alone, and having an amazing first quarter at dartmouth
nikki -- i love how nikki prioritizes people and experiences over comfort and convenience. i hope my whole life can be like this summer.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
every new infidelity scandal. people and politicians that refuse to respect the other side.
14. Where did most of your money go?
travel and a car
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
living in boston again, living in southern california again, seeing rome and visiting muriel, amazing trips to new york city, simon and garfunkel concert
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
every paul simon song, especially the boxer, late in the evening, 59th street bridge, scarborough fair, and the obvious child
Compared to this time last year, are you:
17. Thinner or fatter?
fatter?
18. Richer or poorer?
about the same -- the car cost all the money i made
19. What do you wish you'd done more of?
making the most of the places i actually lived (salem, fulllerton, minneapolis)
20. What do you wish you'd done less of?
wasting time at work
21. How will you be spending Christmas?
spent it at home and playing bananagrams! wonderful
22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
no
24. What was your favorite TV program?
the office was the only show i made an effort to watch. but thanks to reruns and dvds i discovered how i met your mother, dr. who, house, and arrested development season 2
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
of course not
26. What was the best book you read?
i really liked the time traveler's wife! and world war z, although it creeped me out.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
simon and garfunkel -- you can trace it from early january when i bought the concert in central park from newbury comics for $5 to late october when i flew across the country to see them live (and all the different CDs on endless repeat in between)
28. What did you want and get?
a chance to wean myself from harvard life, a wonderful long-term living situation, to see my sister's graduation
29. What did you want and not get?
a job in california
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
so many super great movies + venues to choose from! discovering the $3 theater with star trek, my first made-for-3D movie with up, sitting on top of the camry with time traveler's wife, crazy awesome retro theater with 500 days of summer, subtitled italian movie theater with harry potter, hollywood cemetery "theater" with some like it hot, avatar (at krikorian hey!!!), but i think the best day by far was SUPER AMAZING CHINESE THEATER with astro boy!!!
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
23! marching band casino night fundraiser. the whole house sang to me.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
becoming a great cook
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
default pants have finally graduated from sweats to jeans
34. What kept you sane?
neha's jpmm!
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
? ...paul simon?
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the inauguration
37. Who did you miss?
ifp friends, blockmates, harvard mormons, new friends in fullerton, and family, as i moved away from each of them in turn
38. Who was the best new person you met?
the harvard ldssa freshmen and my friends in the fullerton 10th ward!
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
double-check your departure time, tell someone else what time you're leaving, then check it again
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
life is an adventure!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
the gods envy us
i just finished watching the movie troy on tv (LOVE dvr) and...it left me upset and disconcerted. i thought i would really like it since i love ancient rome/greece and inspiring battle cries, but when it finished i mostly felt mad that so many brave, loyal, good good people died for (mostly one individual's) pride and greed. maybe this was the point -- war is not glamorous, war is heartbreaking, war is terrible, war can be unnecessary, war is the thoughts and feelings of few affecting the lives and families of millions. everyone on every side is human and everyone on every side has someone who loves them. maybe i'm glad all war movies are rated R and i haven't seen them. i don't know if i could handle a story about people that actually existed and that could have been my grandfather and his friends.
today was a big day. went to a couple of estate sales and goodwill, chipped in for our christmas tree, a glass pie pan, and lots of cheap picture frames. i'm excited to start decorating my walls! also today i finally went into the dealership and picked a car to buy -- i'm going to get a honda fit, and assuming they're both still there on monday, i'll need to choose between black and silver. it turns out car shopping, as a process, is much less fun than i imagined. it's mostly worrying about whether you're getting the best deal and being on guard in case you're being cheated. i hate the feeling that you're not allowed to trust someone and treat them how you feel they should be treated. that happened in cairo -- a person would start helping you and you'd want to say thanks and accept, but if you did he'd start asking for or demanding a tip, following you, not leaving you alone unless you adamantly ignored him and made it clear you are no longer acknowledging his existence. it felt terrible. i had similar feelings talking to the car salesman. i had been warned by several sources: don't give him any details about yourself. don't tell him whether you're there to buy today. it's okay to ignore his questions. he's trying to wring the most money out of you he can, don't trust him, don't feel sorry for him, don't be fooled by him. it was my least favorite part of the car buying process by far.
BUT, that part is generally over, and i'm glad i'll have a car soon. i'm more glad that amy's coming in less than FOUR DAYS and that my roommates are fantastic and our house is wonderful and i have a challenging yet possible task to complete at work and i get to pretend i'm still in school because i need to (re)learn how to program in scheme and that i have wonderful blockmates whom i still love and who still love me even though we've been living apart for a year and a half (almost). i miss summer adventures, but so far, minnesota hasn't been so bad. turns out life is good wherever you go :)
today was a big day. went to a couple of estate sales and goodwill, chipped in for our christmas tree, a glass pie pan, and lots of cheap picture frames. i'm excited to start decorating my walls! also today i finally went into the dealership and picked a car to buy -- i'm going to get a honda fit, and assuming they're both still there on monday, i'll need to choose between black and silver. it turns out car shopping, as a process, is much less fun than i imagined. it's mostly worrying about whether you're getting the best deal and being on guard in case you're being cheated. i hate the feeling that you're not allowed to trust someone and treat them how you feel they should be treated. that happened in cairo -- a person would start helping you and you'd want to say thanks and accept, but if you did he'd start asking for or demanding a tip, following you, not leaving you alone unless you adamantly ignored him and made it clear you are no longer acknowledging his existence. it felt terrible. i had similar feelings talking to the car salesman. i had been warned by several sources: don't give him any details about yourself. don't tell him whether you're there to buy today. it's okay to ignore his questions. he's trying to wring the most money out of you he can, don't trust him, don't feel sorry for him, don't be fooled by him. it was my least favorite part of the car buying process by far.
BUT, that part is generally over, and i'm glad i'll have a car soon. i'm more glad that amy's coming in less than FOUR DAYS and that my roommates are fantastic and our house is wonderful and i have a challenging yet possible task to complete at work and i get to pretend i'm still in school because i need to (re)learn how to program in scheme and that i have wonderful blockmates whom i still love and who still love me even though we've been living apart for a year and a half (almost). i miss summer adventures, but so far, minnesota hasn't been so bad. turns out life is good wherever you go :)
Monday, October 12, 2009
i'm freezing
it's 64 degrees outside and 70 degrees inside and i'm freezing. ready for minnesota FAIL.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
can i just say
that i love it when people are passionate about their interests?
http://biscuitrecipes.org/
http://biscuitrecipes.org/
Sunday, June 28, 2009
will actually update someday
until about 30 seconds ago i thought keane and kanye west were the same person.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
weirded out
just realized the VHS band facebook group has been taken over by people who were in the band 20-30 years ago. crazy!! maybe they remember the beefeater tunics...
Friday, May 8, 2009
thursday night crunch
1:04 am here means 4:04 in cambridge, and i have 5 harvard friends live on gchat right now. i don't really miss those nights, but i do just a little bit.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
you have never talked to a mere mortal
"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would strongly be tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics.
There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.
Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendours. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn: We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously--no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption...Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses."
— C.S. Lewis (The Weight of Glory)
There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.
Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendours. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn: We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously--no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption...Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses."
— C.S. Lewis (The Weight of Glory)
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
eww
night 2 of 2 where i fall asleep on the middle seat of my couch with my computer, the tv, and three lights on and my contacts in, wake up around 4am and realize i really need to brush my teeth. at least the tv isn't blaring this time...i guess that counts as learning from your mistakes.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
on faith and fear
amy finds out today about most of her colleges, and i have to admit - the last week my stomach has been in knots. i can only imagine how she feels.
in fact, i can only imagine how she feels. i try to think back to before i was accepted to college, and i can't remember anything. was i scared? was i nervous? excited? apathetic? hopeful? pessimistic? i was rejected from yale early action, and while i'm sure i was hurt and sad, i just don't remember. the only evidence i have in my mind that i was worried is a memory of a random december night where i secretly tried to apply to BYU last minute, because travis had sent off his application in november and received an acceptance three weeks later. i didn't have an ACT score so i couldn't do it, but that really was the only reason it didn't happen.
when dad told me over the phone that amy didn't get into MIT and described the moment i almost started crying right there on melissa and alex's couch. it's ridiculous, really - other people have sisters who were hit by cars, who can't walk, who won't eat, who aren't ready for the baby they're having, who were ready for their baby but it died, who haven't been seen for years and years. what am i crying about? my sister has been accepted to some of the best colleges in the country. what the hell is wrong with our family when we're afraid amy might *have* to go to Berkeley or Rice?
the difference, of course, between these hypothetical sisters and amy is that amy is *my* sister, and *my* sister was sitting at home hurting. obviously i wasn't sad amy didn't get into MIT specifically (i'm not convinced one bit MIT is a good place to go to be happy), but i was heartbroken that she might be sad.
i feel 100% at fault for all the anticipation and excitement my family has built up to today. somehow, over the course of the past 4 years, i've forgotten what a fluke it was that i was accepted to the places i was, and i've been talking about going to college in cambridge like it's normal. the only reason (ONLY reason) i was accepted to harvard was because i was supposed to go there then, meet those people and have those experiences. looking at the applicant pool 5 years ago and the applicant pool now, i sometimes think there's no way i'd get in again. there are ten thousand - TEN THOUSAND - more kids applying now than applied in 2003. out of that TEN THOUSAND there has to be at LEAST one hundred (a conservative estimate for sure) that would be more qualified than my high school self to go to a place like harvard. it doesn't even take a hundred. it only takes one.
but then i remember how i got in in the first place. it wasn't my lack of national level achievements. it wasn't my inspiring story of growing up comfortable and white. it certainly wasn't my mediocre bassoon tape of an audition piece that wasn't even good enough to get into all-southern. it was, i truly believe, the hand of God guiding the admission's officers hand away from his first-instinct "no" pile, the voice of God whispering in his ear, "give this girl another look. she's going to need this place." and if that's the case, maybe i'd have a shot in this new pool - i'd be just as unqualified in a group of 30,000 as i was in a group of 20,000. if God wanted me at harvard, no statistics game is going to stop him.
and if that's the case, i have no business worrying about where amy will be accepted to school. there's no way God would put me exactly where i needed to be and then leave amy hanging, especially after all the hard work she's been putting in since kindergarten and all the effort she spent on her applications.
"Fear and faith cannot coexist in our hearts at the same time." it can only be one or the other.
whether zero or five, the number of cheerful emails my sister gets today doesn't matter. nothing changes the facts: amy is the kindest, happiest, most optimistic, most hopeful person i know. she absolutely loves her life and the people in it. she is lucky and she knows it. more importantly, she appreciates it. she is SO intelligent and she excels because she works hard. she is going to have an amazing college experience and come out of it armed with the relationships and experiences she needs to make her mark on the world. i am so grateful to be a part of her life. when i count my blessings she counts 5 times.
in fact, i can only imagine how she feels. i try to think back to before i was accepted to college, and i can't remember anything. was i scared? was i nervous? excited? apathetic? hopeful? pessimistic? i was rejected from yale early action, and while i'm sure i was hurt and sad, i just don't remember. the only evidence i have in my mind that i was worried is a memory of a random december night where i secretly tried to apply to BYU last minute, because travis had sent off his application in november and received an acceptance three weeks later. i didn't have an ACT score so i couldn't do it, but that really was the only reason it didn't happen.
when dad told me over the phone that amy didn't get into MIT and described the moment i almost started crying right there on melissa and alex's couch. it's ridiculous, really - other people have sisters who were hit by cars, who can't walk, who won't eat, who aren't ready for the baby they're having, who were ready for their baby but it died, who haven't been seen for years and years. what am i crying about? my sister has been accepted to some of the best colleges in the country. what the hell is wrong with our family when we're afraid amy might *have* to go to Berkeley or Rice?
the difference, of course, between these hypothetical sisters and amy is that amy is *my* sister, and *my* sister was sitting at home hurting. obviously i wasn't sad amy didn't get into MIT specifically (i'm not convinced one bit MIT is a good place to go to be happy), but i was heartbroken that she might be sad.
i feel 100% at fault for all the anticipation and excitement my family has built up to today. somehow, over the course of the past 4 years, i've forgotten what a fluke it was that i was accepted to the places i was, and i've been talking about going to college in cambridge like it's normal. the only reason (ONLY reason) i was accepted to harvard was because i was supposed to go there then, meet those people and have those experiences. looking at the applicant pool 5 years ago and the applicant pool now, i sometimes think there's no way i'd get in again. there are ten thousand - TEN THOUSAND - more kids applying now than applied in 2003. out of that TEN THOUSAND there has to be at LEAST one hundred (a conservative estimate for sure) that would be more qualified than my high school self to go to a place like harvard. it doesn't even take a hundred. it only takes one.
but then i remember how i got in in the first place. it wasn't my lack of national level achievements. it wasn't my inspiring story of growing up comfortable and white. it certainly wasn't my mediocre bassoon tape of an audition piece that wasn't even good enough to get into all-southern. it was, i truly believe, the hand of God guiding the admission's officers hand away from his first-instinct "no" pile, the voice of God whispering in his ear, "give this girl another look. she's going to need this place." and if that's the case, maybe i'd have a shot in this new pool - i'd be just as unqualified in a group of 30,000 as i was in a group of 20,000. if God wanted me at harvard, no statistics game is going to stop him.
and if that's the case, i have no business worrying about where amy will be accepted to school. there's no way God would put me exactly where i needed to be and then leave amy hanging, especially after all the hard work she's been putting in since kindergarten and all the effort she spent on her applications.
"Fear and faith cannot coexist in our hearts at the same time." it can only be one or the other.
whether zero or five, the number of cheerful emails my sister gets today doesn't matter. nothing changes the facts: amy is the kindest, happiest, most optimistic, most hopeful person i know. she absolutely loves her life and the people in it. she is lucky and she knows it. more importantly, she appreciates it. she is SO intelligent and she excels because she works hard. she is going to have an amazing college experience and come out of it armed with the relationships and experiences she needs to make her mark on the world. i am so grateful to be a part of her life. when i count my blessings she counts 5 times.
Monday, March 2, 2009
didn't want to forget
just remembered that we had late christmas this year, that i stayed up wayyy too late reading and didn't set an alarm, that amy woke up at 7 (or earlier?) and waited for me to come and get her but i didn't, so then she fell asleep, that i woke up at 9 and uncle ira and maybe dad were already awake, wondering what was wrong with us, that we didn't watch the muppet christmas carol before opening presents and amy had to separate the presents by herself, that nikki2 loved late christmas, just like she would have loved early christmas, that amy complained all day about how late christmas upset the whole schedule, that i felt so well-rested, and that i couldn't stop giggling the entire day, and i didn't want to forget, so i am writing it out here. amy, please help fill in any gaps i missed.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
40 days and 40 nights
i have been wanting a calling in church for weeks now, and on sunday i finally got one - actually two! the first is assistant to the executive secretary, which i didn't even know was a calling open to girls. the second is much more interesting - coordinator/ward cheerleader for our Bishop's newest crazy idea: Lent!
mormons don't usually celebrate Lent, so it's very weird for Bishop O. to suggest we do this. but after spending two days reading up on Lent and composing an email that i hope was encouraging and interesting, i am SO EXCITED. instead of giving something up, the Bishop has asked all of us to set three types of goals:
1. a daily goal that strengthens personal spirituality
2. weekly goals to reach out and serve others
3. a long-term goal to be worked on lent-long
i haven't decided exactly what i'm going to work towards yet, but i have imagined what it will be like if everyone buys in and takes this seriously. with our entire ward working, really working to be better people for a concentrated 40 days, we have the power to become such a tremendous force for good here in Boston. not just a city on a hill, this is going to be a city visible from space.
it really is the perfect calling - counted today, and i have exactly 40 days and 40 nights left in massachusetts. going to make them count.
mormons don't usually celebrate Lent, so it's very weird for Bishop O. to suggest we do this. but after spending two days reading up on Lent and composing an email that i hope was encouraging and interesting, i am SO EXCITED. instead of giving something up, the Bishop has asked all of us to set three types of goals:
1. a daily goal that strengthens personal spirituality
2. weekly goals to reach out and serve others
3. a long-term goal to be worked on lent-long
i haven't decided exactly what i'm going to work towards yet, but i have imagined what it will be like if everyone buys in and takes this seriously. with our entire ward working, really working to be better people for a concentrated 40 days, we have the power to become such a tremendous force for good here in Boston. not just a city on a hill, this is going to be a city visible from space.
it really is the perfect calling - counted today, and i have exactly 40 days and 40 nights left in massachusetts. going to make them count.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
fair harvard holds sway
in general, i really like being an alum. i love the extra time, i love being considered an adult, i love being able to pay for things, i love having my evenings and weekends free to meet up with my other alumni friends, i love how being apart makes our time together that much more special, i love buying my own food, i love having the time and freedom to read whatever i want.
there have been two times, though, living back here in massachusetts when i've really missed being in school:
the second was this past friday. the activity that 2 friends and i were going to fell through, so the three of us drove planless towards cambridge, figuring something would come up. after searching unsuccessfully for parking for 15 minutes we gave up and parked at the church. eric had access to the science center observatory, so we went up there. two other randos came into the observatory and we pooled all of our collective knowledge to get a fuzzy image of a random star (which was actually awesome - it was blue and green and purple and looked like the little animations you might see on a website about unstable isotopes, glowing and moving all around). then a random older guy came in and took over, telling us we had found sirius, the brightest start in the sky, and we could tell because sirius is orion's hunting dog, and he follows the hunter's feet across the sky every night. he then focused the telescope on five or six stars in the orion nebula and talked to us about mormons he knew when he was at school. as we were leaving the science center we ran into chad, who took us to a refreshment table at science center B for an event he had just missed, where we spent an hour munching and meeting people, including a guy who had stefan fly out to be an usher in his wedding two months ago. aww! then the four of us walked to kirkland house and joined cam and maryn to make their date less(??) awkward, and the 6 of us watched Bride and Prejudice in a random basement seminar room that had an awesome flatscreen tv. as i was walking back after midnight to my car at the church i realized that this kind of thing happened all the time while i was in school (i'll go here but then i'll see them and go there and we'll end up over here) and happens NEVER in my normal life now. everything is planned, and there's no way to run into people randomly, and i'm hardly ever surprised where i end up at the end of the night compared to what i was expecting at the beginning.
the first was my first sunday back - there was a big snowstorm and church in cambridge was truncated to 1 hour. it was soooo much fun to see all of my friends, and there was a baptism for a new guy peter at 3:30 so we all stayed and it was wonderful and i was so happy. 4:00 all of the harvard kids dispersed with plans to meet in annenberg for dinner (it was reading period) at 6. great! i can't remember why, but i was stalled a bit leaving the church, and when i got outside everyone had already left for their different houses. it hit me then that i had nowhere to go. i didn't have a room and i didn't have a bed and i didn't have a dining hall and i didn't have roommates and i didn't have a tv playing gilmore girls and a futon to sit on and a coffee table to put my feet on and a pomegranate to avoid and a microwave to close and i didn't have a home here. i kind of stood there on the sidewalk for a minute or two trying to figure out what to do now, embarrassed that i was an outsider in a place where i had once so entirely belonged. i eventually called emily, sat on her floor, read magazines for a long time, caught up on all of the news of my friends, and ate in pfoho, where i saw chad for the first time in 2 and a half years and morgan, alex, and celeste came and it was sundae sunday and we all had a great meal. i loved being able to sit there and enjoy my friends as long as i wanted because i didn't have reading to finish or psets to do, and i loved being with that group of people and having some of the best memories of sophomore year flooding back again, but all of those great things came with a price: it was that day, 7 months late, that graduation finally sunk in.
there have been two times, though, living back here in massachusetts when i've really missed being in school:
the second was this past friday. the activity that 2 friends and i were going to fell through, so the three of us drove planless towards cambridge, figuring something would come up. after searching unsuccessfully for parking for 15 minutes we gave up and parked at the church. eric had access to the science center observatory, so we went up there. two other randos came into the observatory and we pooled all of our collective knowledge to get a fuzzy image of a random star (which was actually awesome - it was blue and green and purple and looked like the little animations you might see on a website about unstable isotopes, glowing and moving all around). then a random older guy came in and took over, telling us we had found sirius, the brightest start in the sky, and we could tell because sirius is orion's hunting dog, and he follows the hunter's feet across the sky every night. he then focused the telescope on five or six stars in the orion nebula and talked to us about mormons he knew when he was at school. as we were leaving the science center we ran into chad, who took us to a refreshment table at science center B for an event he had just missed, where we spent an hour munching and meeting people, including a guy who had stefan fly out to be an usher in his wedding two months ago. aww! then the four of us walked to kirkland house and joined cam and maryn to make their date less(??) awkward, and the 6 of us watched Bride and Prejudice in a random basement seminar room that had an awesome flatscreen tv. as i was walking back after midnight to my car at the church i realized that this kind of thing happened all the time while i was in school (i'll go here but then i'll see them and go there and we'll end up over here) and happens NEVER in my normal life now. everything is planned, and there's no way to run into people randomly, and i'm hardly ever surprised where i end up at the end of the night compared to what i was expecting at the beginning.
the first was my first sunday back - there was a big snowstorm and church in cambridge was truncated to 1 hour. it was soooo much fun to see all of my friends, and there was a baptism for a new guy peter at 3:30 so we all stayed and it was wonderful and i was so happy. 4:00 all of the harvard kids dispersed with plans to meet in annenberg for dinner (it was reading period) at 6. great! i can't remember why, but i was stalled a bit leaving the church, and when i got outside everyone had already left for their different houses. it hit me then that i had nowhere to go. i didn't have a room and i didn't have a bed and i didn't have a dining hall and i didn't have roommates and i didn't have a tv playing gilmore girls and a futon to sit on and a coffee table to put my feet on and a pomegranate to avoid and a microwave to close and i didn't have a home here. i kind of stood there on the sidewalk for a minute or two trying to figure out what to do now, embarrassed that i was an outsider in a place where i had once so entirely belonged. i eventually called emily, sat on her floor, read magazines for a long time, caught up on all of the news of my friends, and ate in pfoho, where i saw chad for the first time in 2 and a half years and morgan, alex, and celeste came and it was sundae sunday and we all had a great meal. i loved being able to sit there and enjoy my friends as long as i wanted because i didn't have reading to finish or psets to do, and i loved being with that group of people and having some of the best memories of sophomore year flooding back again, but all of those great things came with a price: it was that day, 7 months late, that graduation finally sunk in.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
the price and the promise of citizenship
so i haven't been ignoring this journal on purpose - i almost updated for melissa's birthday. really! it was going to be an entry about how, according to my dad, they have found clay pots from thousands of years ago that inadvertently store audio records. they have recordings of the grooves of these pots being played with a CD laser or something, and while you can't understand what the voices are saying or what language they're speaking, you can tell they're human. it's mind-blowing - a voice recording of humans from thousands of years ago, captured unwittingly and unknowingly by a rotating pot wheel and a sharp stylus?!? i thought melissa would appreciate it as a birthday post. unfortunately, while looking for a website with the recordings, i found a lot of websites that said this whole story was actually a belgian news station's april fools joke. and so i haven't updated until today.
[just a warning...i didn't try to make this interesting. don't bother reading it, it is almost entirely for me and my memory.]
but i figured today was a good day to document. i was very proud of my friends who made the trek to washington to be part of the crowd, and i was very proud of the so many other people all over the country that found TVs and computers and radios to be part of the moment. my story was this: i hadn't heard anything about inauguration-watching at all, so this morning i packed my headphones in my bag in case there wasn't going to be a group watching and i would need to watch on my internet. around 11:10, though, a woman came by my cube asking linda (the woman who sits behind me) and beth (the woman who sits two people to my right) when everything actually started. they were a little confused, so i told them the ceremony started at 11:30 and that the speech was at 12 - now that i think back, i can't remember how i knew that. maybe from kate and victoria? maybe melissa and kristen? anyway, i'm finally signed up for the company email list, and the first email i received on it was that inauguration coverage was streaming in the cafeteria. nice! i got my lunch and went over at 11:25. i microwaved my instant lunch (shrimp flavor) and a little tupperware of corn and got a good seat in a chair right next to the couches.
so, i guess the tv in the cafeteria at one time was supposed to get satellite (or at least cable) tv installed, but, if it still is going to happen, it already missed its biggest moment. some guy named chris had his computer hooked up to the monitor and was streaming the coverage through the internet. as i ate my little shrimps we all commented on the size of the crowd on tv. a crowd began to gather in the lunch room. in a terrible moment of foreshadowing, chris's screensaver came on and he had to go and connect to the website again. jennifer asked everyone multiple times if we wanted it to be louder, and after chris explained multiple times that the sound was only coming out of his laptop because he couldn't figure out how to wire the audio through the tv set, jennifer ran to find a set of speakers. she came back with a pair from a guy named matt, who, according to linda, is staunchly republican to the point of being ignorant. she felt bad about saying it, but i noticed when he came in earlier. he looked at us all, scoffed, and "muttered" (pretty loudly) as he left the room "socialist states of america." so i could guess what she meant. jennifer reported that matt wanted us all to know that he donated his speakers so we could listen to barack obama speak. it sounds like it probably pained him, but he enjoyed, i'm sure, having so many democrats in his debt.
the picture came up just in time for us to hear feinstein welcome everybody. i felt a surge of pride that she was my senator, even though i know nothing about her. i wanted to lean over and tell people, as if i've ever cared about her before. it made me wish i knew more about her, and about barbara boxer also. did i vote for them? were our senate seats even up for election this year? [checked: no] i don't remember what she said, but her words sounded grand and i was getting caught up in the magic of the moment.
right near the end of her introduction, the zooming pinpoint stars came on and the sound started chopping, and eventually stopped. the crowd gasped and chris jumped off of the couch. he got rid of the screen saver easily enough (causing his computer background, a solid red block with the kool-aid guy and "OH YEAHHHHH" in the middle, to show up on the fancy wide-screen tv), but the interruption had kicked us off of internet explorer, and something wouldn't let him restart the browser. everyone started to get anxious, and linda started asking no one in particular if there was a tv with actual tv reception anywhere in the building. the consensus was that the only confirmed television set was in acapulco's, a mexican restaurant in a different building across the parking lot. chris was able to get IE to open again, but when it became obvious that it was going to be difficult to get back onto the cnn.com stream, the 8 or so people closest to the TV (the ones who got there first, the ones who were sitting by me) got up together and ran out the door. the browser on the screen claimed our live stream would start momentarily, so i thought i'd give it a chance. a commercial for chevron came on - encouraging sign! - but only played 2 seconds at a time, with 25 seconds between each clip. eeek. we eventually got to the coverage, but all we'd see was a still shot of joe biden with a smile on his face and his hand raised in the air. 30 seconds later it'd switch to a different still, the switch accompanied by a couple of seconds of sound. after realizing this wasn't going to get better, i gave up and left too, my mind racing for a different way to experience the swearing in that was going to happen within the next few minutes.
i walked very quickly back to my cube and didn't bother to sit down as i opened firefox and tried to think of a good radio station that i could listen to, having heard from the office chatter that the network was super slow from everyone trying to stream video. i tried npr.org and after it didn't load in 15 seconds, i closed the browser and grabbed my jacked and my purse. as i was waiting for the radio to load i had remembered that i already HAD a radio - i drove a radio!! i walked quickly out the door and then jogged outside - it was just after noon now, and i was worried i was missing the Big Moment. luckily i got to the office at 8:30 this morning and most everyone else doesn't come until 8:45 or 9:00, so my car was right by the door. i jumped in the front seat, turned on the radio, and immediately began scanning the channels. i was looking for npr, but i went through every FM station without hearing anything that sounded remotely presidential. WHAT! so i switched to AM and went through all of the channels in the same way, getting more aggravated as time went on. i could understand if you only played 80s music, and therefore didn't expect your audience to turn to you for current events coverage. i passed plenty of talk radio stations, however, and i imagine at least a fraction of them must have news programs. anyway. the stations started cycling again from the beginning, and around 570 i heard a promising sound. i stopped and heard the ceremony going on, and let out a huge sigh of relief. the station worried me, however, because it made it sound like it had the power to play the Presidential Oath live, but was choosing to have a commercial then and then instant replay the oath for all of us in listener land. i decided it wasn't my place to complain, however, and decided to listen to this station while driving to acapulco's tv.
my fears were confirmed - it seemed this station's first priority was not to report the news as it was happening. they came back from commercial with the announcement that barack obama was now officially our president - WHAT!!!! - and then they played the recording of the oath. whatever, i was happy to hear it. i tried to imagine what obama's face and posture looked like as he spoke over the chief justice at the beginning and bumbled some of the words. i hoped, and hope, that when (/if) people someday look back on that moment, they will see it as a sign that obama, despite all of the hope and the hype is just a man, but one who can get nervous and who can make mistakes and recover and still be an exceptional man. i imagine some people are excited to say in 4 or 8 years that this was the our first sign, a terrible foreshadowing, of disaster that was to follow. i do not think this will be the case.
i drove by acapulco's as obama's address was starting, and it wasn't obviously a space for inauguration watching, so i just decided to drive back and stay in my car. i was finding a spot with particularly good reception and enjoying the speech when the radio announcer said, "okay, this is expected to last for another 20 or 30 minutes, so let's take some calls..." WHAT!!! horrified, i clicked the scan button as fast as i could, almost losing control of my steering wheel while going slowly in the parking lot. luckily the next station was playing the address as well, but my calm was short-lived. it became obvious after about 3 seconds that this radio announcer was planning to comment on every one of obama's statements, and it was even more obvious that this man did NOT like president obama. hoping that the previous trend would hold i pressed the scan button again and was happy that the next station was indeed carrying the address as well. after 10 or so seconds i began to rest easy, satisfied that there was at least one radio station that would play the world's most important events uniterrupted for people who wanted to experience them.
i parked in a spot that overlooked at small body of water across from the freeway. during the 30 minutes or so i sat there some pretty substantial snow blew off of a tall tree hanging over me, convincing me at least once that a freak snowstorm had indeed started in broad daylight. it was nice, though, as it provided clean water with which i could get the salt stuff off of my windshield. i've been trying to save my windshield wiper fluid, as i think it's starting to run on empty and i need this car and its large cargo hold to last me until at least the end of the weekend (after which i will be MORE than happy to find something wrong with it so i can switch it in for something else, preferably half the size).
anyway, parked in the little spot with the heat running and my radio turned louder than necessary, i listened to president obama's speech. i always have trouble following along when people speak, especially if only one person speaks for a long time (that's why i lived for reading period lecture video replay marathons - i need a pause button so i can process what you're saying as you say it), but some points really caught my attention.
"Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights." --especially with all of the talk about china and the olympics and its plan and position to become the next world power, i know i've had thoughts that maybe it's narcissistic for us to think that we deserve, or even that we can pull off another century at the top of the world. i imagined this was the natural life cycle of countries, kind of like how we don't care about portugal anymore (sorry, portugal). i hadn't really thought that this was a mindset we choose, and that if we collectively decide something different than something different will be true. not sure if this isn't an even more narcissistic view, but if anyone should have the "america can and always will be best," it should be our president.
"We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things." --(1 corinthians 13:11 - "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.") i was happy i recognized the scripture, although i could not place it. i love this attitude. trying to grow up myself, i am eager to see how america handles its transition from adolescent to adult. what a time to live here!
"Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life...This is the journey we continue today." --i tried to think about how me sitting in a cubicle and typing perl code for hours a day could make life better for the generations to come, and the first answer i could come up with is i must do it better, with more heart and more meaning and more devotion. the next answer i came up with is that i need to find the place where i will be excited to struggle and sacrifice and work and think ahead and show my love for the americans not yet born. where can i make this impact? what am i meant to contribute? i am sitting too easy right now.
"Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions...Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done...What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them" --i love this!
"But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old." --at this moment it hit me why i liked this inauguration so much - it was like a political General Conference, a chance for the rest of the country to feel the feelings of unity and togetherness and coming together that my lds friends and i get to experience twice a year. a world leader broadcasting an inspiring speech encouraging us to be better than we are. the whole world watching at exactly the same moment, many gathering around the speaker himself but most gathering where they are, the millions of remote locations symbolic of the reach and diversity of our community. afterwards we all have something in common that we can discuss, and we'll share our favorite parts and comment on each other's favorite parts, and we can quote pieces from it later and everyone will no what you're talking about without you having to explain. just like church! it's perfect. i loved that curiosity was included on this list.
i remember at graduation kristen asked if i didn't seem more fragile than before, like all of the stress and the changes made it much easier to cry, even if i wasn't particularly sad. i didn't understand then, but over the past few months i've grown to understand what she meant. my reaction was just delayed - i've been more fragile since moving out on my own, and it doesn't take much for me to start shedding tears. because of this, i'm glad that in the end i didn't watch the inauguration with all of my new coworkers, as i could cry freely alone in my car.
after obama's speech was over the radio station began playing commercials, so i switched back to the previous station to hear the poet and the prayer. the angry man was still angry, and while i appreciated that he didn't talk directly over any of the speakers, his sarcastic commentary almost ruined everything that was said. i got angrier and angrier at his cynicism as i drove back to my original spot, and as i was turning off the car he went to commercial and mentioned his name: rush limbaugh. it suddenly all made a lot more sense, and while i was still upset with him, at least it served as a good reminder that political fanaticism too far to any one side tears people down and ruins any feelings of unity.
at some point during the speech i thought of dick cheney in a wheelchair and had a shudder as i thought of what could have happened if mccain had been elected. i tried to imagine the worst case scenario, and sarah palin stepping in and trying to deliver a speech that would need to calm our nation, soothe fears in all parties, and gain the trust of republicans and democrats alike. i like to think that she might have surprised us all, and wouldn't that have been a great story. even so, i'm glad she won't have that opportunity.
and so! my first inauguration day. i guess technically my sixth. but in truth, my first. i am so excited for america, and at the same time worried for obama. there are a lot of people that think he is all hype, and will be eager, if not happy, to see him fail. i'll try my best to do my part, mr. president, to make you look good.
my favorite part, i think, of the entire ceremony was when the naval chorus(?) sang the star spangled banner. i was listening to rush at that point, and he was silent during the entire hymn. it made me realize that there are some things that both sides have in common, and those things are the best things: patriotism, respect for country, love for our history. it makes it easier to like the other side, i think, if you remember that they're trying to achieve the same goal you are, and they love the same country you love.
[just a warning...i didn't try to make this interesting. don't bother reading it, it is almost entirely for me and my memory.]
but i figured today was a good day to document. i was very proud of my friends who made the trek to washington to be part of the crowd, and i was very proud of the so many other people all over the country that found TVs and computers and radios to be part of the moment. my story was this: i hadn't heard anything about inauguration-watching at all, so this morning i packed my headphones in my bag in case there wasn't going to be a group watching and i would need to watch on my internet. around 11:10, though, a woman came by my cube asking linda (the woman who sits behind me) and beth (the woman who sits two people to my right) when everything actually started. they were a little confused, so i told them the ceremony started at 11:30 and that the speech was at 12 - now that i think back, i can't remember how i knew that. maybe from kate and victoria? maybe melissa and kristen? anyway, i'm finally signed up for the company email list, and the first email i received on it was that inauguration coverage was streaming in the cafeteria. nice! i got my lunch and went over at 11:25. i microwaved my instant lunch (shrimp flavor) and a little tupperware of corn and got a good seat in a chair right next to the couches.
so, i guess the tv in the cafeteria at one time was supposed to get satellite (or at least cable) tv installed, but, if it still is going to happen, it already missed its biggest moment. some guy named chris had his computer hooked up to the monitor and was streaming the coverage through the internet. as i ate my little shrimps we all commented on the size of the crowd on tv. a crowd began to gather in the lunch room. in a terrible moment of foreshadowing, chris's screensaver came on and he had to go and connect to the website again. jennifer asked everyone multiple times if we wanted it to be louder, and after chris explained multiple times that the sound was only coming out of his laptop because he couldn't figure out how to wire the audio through the tv set, jennifer ran to find a set of speakers. she came back with a pair from a guy named matt, who, according to linda, is staunchly republican to the point of being ignorant. she felt bad about saying it, but i noticed when he came in earlier. he looked at us all, scoffed, and "muttered" (pretty loudly) as he left the room "socialist states of america." so i could guess what she meant. jennifer reported that matt wanted us all to know that he donated his speakers so we could listen to barack obama speak. it sounds like it probably pained him, but he enjoyed, i'm sure, having so many democrats in his debt.
the picture came up just in time for us to hear feinstein welcome everybody. i felt a surge of pride that she was my senator, even though i know nothing about her. i wanted to lean over and tell people, as if i've ever cared about her before. it made me wish i knew more about her, and about barbara boxer also. did i vote for them? were our senate seats even up for election this year? [checked: no] i don't remember what she said, but her words sounded grand and i was getting caught up in the magic of the moment.
right near the end of her introduction, the zooming pinpoint stars came on and the sound started chopping, and eventually stopped. the crowd gasped and chris jumped off of the couch. he got rid of the screen saver easily enough (causing his computer background, a solid red block with the kool-aid guy and "OH YEAHHHHH" in the middle, to show up on the fancy wide-screen tv), but the interruption had kicked us off of internet explorer, and something wouldn't let him restart the browser. everyone started to get anxious, and linda started asking no one in particular if there was a tv with actual tv reception anywhere in the building. the consensus was that the only confirmed television set was in acapulco's, a mexican restaurant in a different building across the parking lot. chris was able to get IE to open again, but when it became obvious that it was going to be difficult to get back onto the cnn.com stream, the 8 or so people closest to the TV (the ones who got there first, the ones who were sitting by me) got up together and ran out the door. the browser on the screen claimed our live stream would start momentarily, so i thought i'd give it a chance. a commercial for chevron came on - encouraging sign! - but only played 2 seconds at a time, with 25 seconds between each clip. eeek. we eventually got to the coverage, but all we'd see was a still shot of joe biden with a smile on his face and his hand raised in the air. 30 seconds later it'd switch to a different still, the switch accompanied by a couple of seconds of sound. after realizing this wasn't going to get better, i gave up and left too, my mind racing for a different way to experience the swearing in that was going to happen within the next few minutes.
i walked very quickly back to my cube and didn't bother to sit down as i opened firefox and tried to think of a good radio station that i could listen to, having heard from the office chatter that the network was super slow from everyone trying to stream video. i tried npr.org and after it didn't load in 15 seconds, i closed the browser and grabbed my jacked and my purse. as i was waiting for the radio to load i had remembered that i already HAD a radio - i drove a radio!! i walked quickly out the door and then jogged outside - it was just after noon now, and i was worried i was missing the Big Moment. luckily i got to the office at 8:30 this morning and most everyone else doesn't come until 8:45 or 9:00, so my car was right by the door. i jumped in the front seat, turned on the radio, and immediately began scanning the channels. i was looking for npr, but i went through every FM station without hearing anything that sounded remotely presidential. WHAT! so i switched to AM and went through all of the channels in the same way, getting more aggravated as time went on. i could understand if you only played 80s music, and therefore didn't expect your audience to turn to you for current events coverage. i passed plenty of talk radio stations, however, and i imagine at least a fraction of them must have news programs. anyway. the stations started cycling again from the beginning, and around 570 i heard a promising sound. i stopped and heard the ceremony going on, and let out a huge sigh of relief. the station worried me, however, because it made it sound like it had the power to play the Presidential Oath live, but was choosing to have a commercial then and then instant replay the oath for all of us in listener land. i decided it wasn't my place to complain, however, and decided to listen to this station while driving to acapulco's tv.
my fears were confirmed - it seemed this station's first priority was not to report the news as it was happening. they came back from commercial with the announcement that barack obama was now officially our president - WHAT!!!! - and then they played the recording of the oath. whatever, i was happy to hear it. i tried to imagine what obama's face and posture looked like as he spoke over the chief justice at the beginning and bumbled some of the words. i hoped, and hope, that when (/if) people someday look back on that moment, they will see it as a sign that obama, despite all of the hope and the hype is just a man, but one who can get nervous and who can make mistakes and recover and still be an exceptional man. i imagine some people are excited to say in 4 or 8 years that this was the our first sign, a terrible foreshadowing, of disaster that was to follow. i do not think this will be the case.
i drove by acapulco's as obama's address was starting, and it wasn't obviously a space for inauguration watching, so i just decided to drive back and stay in my car. i was finding a spot with particularly good reception and enjoying the speech when the radio announcer said, "okay, this is expected to last for another 20 or 30 minutes, so let's take some calls..." WHAT!!! horrified, i clicked the scan button as fast as i could, almost losing control of my steering wheel while going slowly in the parking lot. luckily the next station was playing the address as well, but my calm was short-lived. it became obvious after about 3 seconds that this radio announcer was planning to comment on every one of obama's statements, and it was even more obvious that this man did NOT like president obama. hoping that the previous trend would hold i pressed the scan button again and was happy that the next station was indeed carrying the address as well. after 10 or so seconds i began to rest easy, satisfied that there was at least one radio station that would play the world's most important events uniterrupted for people who wanted to experience them.
i parked in a spot that overlooked at small body of water across from the freeway. during the 30 minutes or so i sat there some pretty substantial snow blew off of a tall tree hanging over me, convincing me at least once that a freak snowstorm had indeed started in broad daylight. it was nice, though, as it provided clean water with which i could get the salt stuff off of my windshield. i've been trying to save my windshield wiper fluid, as i think it's starting to run on empty and i need this car and its large cargo hold to last me until at least the end of the weekend (after which i will be MORE than happy to find something wrong with it so i can switch it in for something else, preferably half the size).
anyway, parked in the little spot with the heat running and my radio turned louder than necessary, i listened to president obama's speech. i always have trouble following along when people speak, especially if only one person speaks for a long time (that's why i lived for reading period lecture video replay marathons - i need a pause button so i can process what you're saying as you say it), but some points really caught my attention.
"Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights." --especially with all of the talk about china and the olympics and its plan and position to become the next world power, i know i've had thoughts that maybe it's narcissistic for us to think that we deserve, or even that we can pull off another century at the top of the world. i imagined this was the natural life cycle of countries, kind of like how we don't care about portugal anymore (sorry, portugal). i hadn't really thought that this was a mindset we choose, and that if we collectively decide something different than something different will be true. not sure if this isn't an even more narcissistic view, but if anyone should have the "america can and always will be best," it should be our president.
"We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things." --(1 corinthians 13:11 - "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.") i was happy i recognized the scripture, although i could not place it. i love this attitude. trying to grow up myself, i am eager to see how america handles its transition from adolescent to adult. what a time to live here!
"Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life...This is the journey we continue today." --i tried to think about how me sitting in a cubicle and typing perl code for hours a day could make life better for the generations to come, and the first answer i could come up with is i must do it better, with more heart and more meaning and more devotion. the next answer i came up with is that i need to find the place where i will be excited to struggle and sacrifice and work and think ahead and show my love for the americans not yet born. where can i make this impact? what am i meant to contribute? i am sitting too easy right now.
"Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions...Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done...What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them" --i love this!
"But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old." --at this moment it hit me why i liked this inauguration so much - it was like a political General Conference, a chance for the rest of the country to feel the feelings of unity and togetherness and coming together that my lds friends and i get to experience twice a year. a world leader broadcasting an inspiring speech encouraging us to be better than we are. the whole world watching at exactly the same moment, many gathering around the speaker himself but most gathering where they are, the millions of remote locations symbolic of the reach and diversity of our community. afterwards we all have something in common that we can discuss, and we'll share our favorite parts and comment on each other's favorite parts, and we can quote pieces from it later and everyone will no what you're talking about without you having to explain. just like church! it's perfect. i loved that curiosity was included on this list.
i remember at graduation kristen asked if i didn't seem more fragile than before, like all of the stress and the changes made it much easier to cry, even if i wasn't particularly sad. i didn't understand then, but over the past few months i've grown to understand what she meant. my reaction was just delayed - i've been more fragile since moving out on my own, and it doesn't take much for me to start shedding tears. because of this, i'm glad that in the end i didn't watch the inauguration with all of my new coworkers, as i could cry freely alone in my car.
after obama's speech was over the radio station began playing commercials, so i switched back to the previous station to hear the poet and the prayer. the angry man was still angry, and while i appreciated that he didn't talk directly over any of the speakers, his sarcastic commentary almost ruined everything that was said. i got angrier and angrier at his cynicism as i drove back to my original spot, and as i was turning off the car he went to commercial and mentioned his name: rush limbaugh. it suddenly all made a lot more sense, and while i was still upset with him, at least it served as a good reminder that political fanaticism too far to any one side tears people down and ruins any feelings of unity.
at some point during the speech i thought of dick cheney in a wheelchair and had a shudder as i thought of what could have happened if mccain had been elected. i tried to imagine the worst case scenario, and sarah palin stepping in and trying to deliver a speech that would need to calm our nation, soothe fears in all parties, and gain the trust of republicans and democrats alike. i like to think that she might have surprised us all, and wouldn't that have been a great story. even so, i'm glad she won't have that opportunity.
and so! my first inauguration day. i guess technically my sixth. but in truth, my first. i am so excited for america, and at the same time worried for obama. there are a lot of people that think he is all hype, and will be eager, if not happy, to see him fail. i'll try my best to do my part, mr. president, to make you look good.
my favorite part, i think, of the entire ceremony was when the naval chorus(?) sang the star spangled banner. i was listening to rush at that point, and he was silent during the entire hymn. it made me realize that there are some things that both sides have in common, and those things are the best things: patriotism, respect for country, love for our history. it makes it easier to like the other side, i think, if you remember that they're trying to achieve the same goal you are, and they love the same country you love.
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